I'm going to break this day down into some lists.
Things That Did Not Suck
- Fried chicken
- Macaroni salad
- Walker, Texas Ranger
- Being told that my hair looked pretty.
Things That Sucked
- Screaming headache.
- Bizarre continuing bouts of nausea in the morning. (No, I'm not pregnant.)
- A royal fuckup at work that kept me there till almost 1:00 (which was basically my own fault, so I can't even be angry about it).
- Walking across the entire parking lot barefoot in a monsoon because I didn't want to ruin my nice new sandals.
- PennDOT.
Things I Cannot Categorize
- Not being struck by lightning on my barefoot walk to my car. I can't categorize this because on one hand, I don't want to die in a parking lot, but on the other hand, if I died, I probably wouldn't be pissy. I'd just be dead. And still in the parking lot till someone ran over my fried, soggy corpse around 7:00 AM. Yeah, I still can't make up my mind on that one. I'm just going to sit here and watch Chuck Norris deliver roundhouse kicks to various faces as I slowly pass out.
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7 comments:
Ok... From the southern belle: Fried Chicken, Chuck Norris, and Acknowledged Pretty Hair are enough to cancel out anything that might have been bad that day.
-S
P.S. Maybe you are prego. Wouldn't that be funny if the second virgin birth occured with a bisexual atheist with pretty hair?
...Virgin? Maybe I'm a new step in human evolution and I can reproduce asexually.
Each time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks someone in the face, another one of his super-sperm is spawned in your ovaries. It's the price we pay...hahaha
Okay, I just kind of gagged. The combination of my and Chuck Norris' genes... good god, they'd be the hairiest children ever.
...and one's you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley...
P.P.S. I thought you'd get a laugh at the "virgin" comment ;-).
P.P.P.S. Asexually? what are you? Amoeba? One day you'll be sitting at your desk, captioning a piece on the beauty of Ann Coulter and her position as God's Chosen One when you're going to bud another Manda out of your ear?
It will start a large chain reaction where, before you know it, there will be a Million Manda's, who will begin the slow Million Manda March towards Washington. Dear God, that would be brilliant. Especially if they started their trek in Rainbow-colored Festiva's and other antiquated Compact Ford vehicles.
I just laughed. Loud. Very loud. And I think I felt something popping out of my neck...
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