Wednesday, June 10, 2009

breaking news: newt gingrich is an asshole

Not a citizen of the world, huh, Newt? Could that be because no one wants you in it?

It doesn't matter what political party you belong to, Newt. If Barack Obama stood up and said he's not a citizen of the world, I'd be among the millions lining up to toss a Target flip-flop at his head. Being a citizen of the world means being aware of the global consequences of your own as well as your country's actions.

Even as a kid, I thought it was wrong for people to assert that America is the greatest country on the planet. It's not because I don't love America; because believe me, I do. It's that I've just always agreed with Voltaire that it is lamentable that in order to become a patriot, one must become an enemy of the rest of mankind. Probably the only reason I ever even thought about it as a kid (and I did) is because I wasn't born here. And no, I also do not think that Sweden is the greatest country in the world. (Although certainly their healthcare system is much better than ours.) I don't think there is a greatest country in the world. However, I can think of a way we could make America the teensiest bit better.

Newt, I suggest you go live someplace where it's totally cool to pretend that the country you're in somehow exists outside of the realm of the rest of the planet. I'm sure you and Kim Jong-Il will be very happy together.