Thursday, June 28, 2007

today: things that sucked, things that did not suck

I'm going to break this day down into some lists.

Things That Did Not Suck

- Fried chicken
- Macaroni salad
- Walker, Texas Ranger
- Being told that my hair looked pretty.

Things That Sucked

- Screaming headache.
- Bizarre continuing bouts of nausea in the morning. (No, I'm not pregnant.)
- A royal fuckup at work that kept me there till almost 1:00 (which was basically my own fault, so I can't even be angry about it).
- Walking across the entire parking lot barefoot in a monsoon because I didn't want to ruin my nice new sandals.
- PennDOT.

Things I Cannot Categorize

- Not being struck by lightning on my barefoot walk to my car. I can't categorize this because on one hand, I don't want to die in a parking lot, but on the other hand, if I died, I probably wouldn't be pissy. I'd just be dead. And still in the parking lot till someone ran over my fried, soggy corpse around 7:00 AM. Yeah, I still can't make up my mind on that one. I'm just going to sit here and watch Chuck Norris deliver roundhouse kicks to various faces as I slowly pass out.

7 comments:

Scott said...

Ok... From the southern belle: Fried Chicken, Chuck Norris, and Acknowledged Pretty Hair are enough to cancel out anything that might have been bad that day.

-S

P.S. Maybe you are prego. Wouldn't that be funny if the second virgin birth occured with a bisexual atheist with pretty hair?

Amanda said...

...Virgin? Maybe I'm a new step in human evolution and I can reproduce asexually.

Nate said...

Each time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks someone in the face, another one of his super-sperm is spawned in your ovaries. It's the price we pay...hahaha

Amanda said...

Okay, I just kind of gagged. The combination of my and Chuck Norris' genes... good god, they'd be the hairiest children ever.

Scott said...

...and one's you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley...

Scott said...

P.P.S. I thought you'd get a laugh at the "virgin" comment ;-).

P.P.P.S. Asexually? what are you? Amoeba? One day you'll be sitting at your desk, captioning a piece on the beauty of Ann Coulter and her position as God's Chosen One when you're going to bud another Manda out of your ear?

It will start a large chain reaction where, before you know it, there will be a Million Manda's, who will begin the slow Million Manda March towards Washington. Dear God, that would be brilliant. Especially if they started their trek in Rainbow-colored Festiva's and other antiquated Compact Ford vehicles.

Amanda said...

I just laughed. Loud. Very loud. And I think I felt something popping out of my neck...