Tuesday, August 14, 2007

and my pigeon army shall be fearsome

I passed this on the turnpike but I didn't get a chance to stop. I already feel a profound regret.

I'm sort of afraid it's a farm for pigeons that people will eventually shoot. I'd try to free the pigeons if that were the case. I'd sneak in wearing all black -- the pigeon ninja. I'd free them and in their gratitude, they would become my loyal army. Fred Phelps would disappear and then be found at the bottom of the world's largest deposit of pigeon poo. Or perhaps carried to a considerable height and then dropped. Although I wouldn't want any of my little pigeon soldiers to be harmed.

I've always liked pigeons, although most people consider them rats with wings. These people tend to hate bats, which I also love. I've always wanted to have pet bats, but I don't know how I'd be able to pull that off. What I do know is that Bert and The Count were the best characters on Sesame Street.

When I was in Venice, I was the only person in my family who'd let all the pigeons eat from her hands. They land all over you -- even on your head, despite the food being only in your hands. But it's close to the food, and that's good enough for them. I can understand a desire just to be near food. This is why I am the Pigeon Whisperer.


Scott said...

I hate pigeons, but like bats, go figure. I also love chipmunks (which most people over the age of 30 consider vermin), turtles, and bunnies. I even like the little tweetie birds that hang out around the pigeons. In fact, I almost got kicked out of Epcot for feeding the little birdies french fries.

Sarah said...

Pigeons are insanely cute! People also tend to hate seagulls, but I think they're adorable.

Amanda said...

Okay, so I like every animal but spiders. But Poodle, you're right about the chipmunks. I love chipmunks. And seagulls are cool, too, although I've seen them get mean. I defy anyone to watch "Finding Nemo" and then still hate seagulls.

Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!


Don Guitar said...

Ah yes, riding in the back of my son-in-laws macho-model pickup (mit der hormendous tires und rolling bar und suchlike), racing down the beach in Corpus Christi, holding doritos aloft in my fingers, one at a time, with highly skilled seagull aviators carefully extracting the doritos, one at a time, from my fingertips with out ever touching me even once, just to amuse my grandsons was a mondo-hoot.

Pigeons are ok but hanging a two-way radio antenna on the roof of a hospital in Saint Louis and getting that yucky-pucky stuff they put on the roof, to discourage the pigeons from roosting, all over your clothes is no darn fun.

Just for the record, in America the word "fast", when combined with the word "food" is synonymous with the word "toxic".

Finally, gee I've been too darn busy. First I go through withdrawal for days because there's no posts from Amanda (aaargh!) then, when we get the darn ezine posted and I decide to check "one more time" before going to sleep, even though I should be sleeping, I find you've made three posts. Where the hell was I? This is not good, I have to work on my priorities. *frown*

Ok, sleeping is now appropriate, except for the P.S.

P.S. Instead of blowing fifty cents on a not-so-very erotic "fake book" just google "erotic temple art". That'll keep you busy for days and cost less too.

nate said...

Oh my word. We should SO send secret messages via pigeon! But then Scott would get jelous and train a hawk to hunt them down. But the pigeons would call their seagull allies and kick those hawks in the face.


Nate said...

and did you just call Scott "Poodle"...?

What the...

Scott said...

i thought of you this a.m. as a little pink pidgeon (more of a mauve) walked past me this morning on my way to work.

Oh, and though i don't "hate" seagulls, i do think they are like the downs syndrome children of the bird world.

Scott said...

nate: she did, now get over it ;-) i take it you weren't a huge w&g fan. Karen: "Hi Poodle." Jack: "Who's your daddy?" Karen: "You are!"