I was talking to Mom as she was getting ready for bed, and I noticed that the lotion she was putting on her hands was my missing foot lotion.
"Is that my foot lotion you just put on your hands?"
"Yeah, I like it because it has cortizone in it."
"I have been going nuts for weeks looking for that."
"Oh, sorry..."
"I just never thought to look in your room, I guess."
"Yeah, I've been holding it hostage."
"Ah, whatever. I'm going to use some of the hand cream on your dresser--oh, there's my pink glasses. Apparently everything I've lost is in your room. Is my virginity under your bed?"
"Nah... you lost that all on your own."
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AHAHAHA only your mother... or maybe mine... They're doppelgangers and must never meet or else the world will split open and nymphomaniac albino pigmies will take over the world.
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