I was talking to Mom as she was getting ready for bed, and I noticed that the lotion she was putting on her hands was my missing foot lotion.
"Is that my foot lotion you just put on your hands?"
"Yeah, I like it because it has cortizone in it."
"I have been going nuts for weeks looking for that."
"I just never thought to look in your room, I guess."
"Yeah, I've been holding it hostage."
"Ah, whatever. I'm going to use some of the hand cream on your dresser--oh, there's my pink glasses. Apparently everything I've lost is in your room. Is my virginity under your bed?"
"Nah... you lost that all on your own."