Friday, May 18, 2007

"amanda wins at life"

I mean, who doesn't know that already? But in case you were wondering, or perhaps if you need a reaffirmation, here is the story of why my coworker said that today.

I had been musing on just what it would cost me to hire Chuck Norris to stand by my desk and deliver roundhouse kicks to the faces of those people who feel the need to stand behind me and speak in obnoxious stage whispers and laugh like cartoon Japanese schoolgirls. About 12 times a day.

So then we started trading Norrisisms. (Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris. When it rains, Chuck Norris does not get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.) Then I came up with a brand-new one.

Chuck Norris does not caption. He punches deaf people until they can hear.

I do, in fact, win at life. But only because Chuck Norris allows me to.


Nate said...

Wow...I tried to type "That is so fucking..." but I couldn't figure out a word to describe it's....Shit, there it is again! gah

You win at life like a cake not getting eaten by a fat man...or something like that, either way it's supposed to be a complement!

Cindy said...

Holy fuck that made me laugh. Thank you.