Friday, August 18, 2006

a wise woman once wondered, "what the fuck?"

What's up with all the barely-legal little boys wanting to be my friend on MySpace? Not only do I feel weird for having a profile on there now that everyone and their chihuahua has their own profile, but seriously, what do I want with an 18-year-old? (Or a 15-year-old pretending to be 18.) Some of these children are in high school. High school!

Some kid wearing an Abercrombie shirt in his profile photo sent me a friend request. Apparently he works there, too. (I think they make you wear their clothes when you work there...of course, if you worked for that kind of company, you're probably not smart enough to realize that they're an evil empire or that their clothes are ugly.) In his interests, he listed his girlfriend's name. Also, he was looking at the camera as though he wanted to give it scabies. I smell a Nobel Prize in his future, don't you?

Come to think of it, what the hell does he want with me? I've compiled a possible list of his motivations.

- he wants to discuss Paul Auster
- he would like a recipe for a Key Lime pie that's so good it'll make you slap your own mouth
- he was wondering what the difference is between "it's" and "its"
- he has to learn how to drive a stick
- he needs a tutorial on cunnilingus
- he would like to fully understand why Rick Santorum should be set aflame
- he is an idiot

Definitely has to be one of the above.

1 comment:

fhqwhgads said...

I'd make a good friend. I would love to learn how to drive stick, and I had to google Paul Auster...

I can't offer much in return, but I may be able to entertain you with a rant entitled:

Quotes: When Should They "Really" Be Used?

Actually... I'm trying to be the last person on earth without a myspace account. Wish me luck.